Family Worship
The Importance of Family Worship
The Directory of Family Worship, adopted by the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland in 1647 is an important historical document, long forgotten even by most Reformed Christians. But it demonstrates powerfully the duties and spiritual responsibilities of the head of a house towards the family. It also makes one a little humble as we think how far we have fallen from the standards of our reformed forefathers. Whether Presbyterian or Puritan, our spiritual ancestors understood the importance of family worship and raised up generations of warriors for the faith. Though not without their faults (see my essay on the Puritan Family), their example demonstrates why they were able to exercise such a powerful influence on their world, while we today, are too often influenced by the world.
The original Directory of Family Worship is available directly from Greenville Theological Seminary (PO Box 9279 Greenville SC 29604). We have available a slightly edited version available for easier reading (we updated the language and broke the long, complicated sentences down into more easily grasped principles). However, the principles are so vital to a living, Christian faith that it is worth highlighting some of this document’s contents.
The General Assembly approved the Rules and Directions for family worship “for cherishing piety, and preventing division and schism.” The Scottish Church understood that the family is the foundation of social order both within the State and the Church. No church has enough ministers to adequately train every child, just as no free State can afford the number of police required to monitor every citizen (though Washington certainly seems to think it worth the attempt!). Instead, the Scottish Kirk recognized that the responsibility of teaching and catechizing the nation’s children fell upon the family. If each family diligently and conscientiously trained their children in the doctrines of our holy religion, there would be a great unity of faith and practice. Values caught by daily, family worship when a child is young, are likely to stay with him for the rest of his life. Furthermore, such doctrines help a child avoid the sinful life decisions that destroy whole generations (Psa 119:9-11). The Scots understood something that we seem to have forgotten today, unruly, undisciplined children grow up to be unruly, undisciplined adults! And family worship was ONE means of teaching a child how to become self-governed and self-disciplined.
The Directory sees the Church’s role as not primarily educating the children, but ensuring that such education takes place in the home. It “appoints ministers and ruling elders in each congregation to take special care that these Directions be observed and followed.” Furthermore they were to reprove or censure those who did not keep them. If any family was found to be deficient in doing consistent family worship, “the head of the family is to be first admonished privately to amend his fault; and, in case of his continuing therein, he is to be gravely and sadly reproved by the session; After this reproof, if he is found still to neglect Family-worship, he shall be, for his obstinacy in such an offense, suspended and debarred from the Lord’s supper, as being justly esteemed unworthy to receive the sacraments until he amends his ways.”
Did you get that? If Dad doesn’t do his job at home, leading his household in family worship, the Church was to reprove, rebuke and if necessary excommunicate him! Family worship was a very serious duty. Today, with our low view of ecclesiastical authority, the fact that a man could be barred from the Lord’s Supper for failing in family worship may seem a bit extreme. But again, the early Presbyterians knew something that modern Church-men have forgotten: if the family does not do its duties, the Church cannot fulfill its. Character is created normally in a Christian home. Bringing children up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord is fundamental to every other area of life (cf. Eph 6:1ff, Deut 6:4ff).
Today we substitute Sunday school, youth group, summer camps etc., for family worship. Yet, these things, although certainly not evil in and of themselves, too often undermine the father’s responsibility and give him an excuse to turn this important job over to others. . It is too easy to think that we have done our duty to our children by turning their training over to someone else. My own sad experience as a youth pastor 25 years ago was that the parents expected me to undo in a couple of hours on Sunday, all the damage done to their children throughout the week by humanist education, R-rated movies, rock music and television. Sadly, though I tried, it just could not be done. Lest anyone think I was just a lousy youth minister, consider these statistics; evangelicals with all their programs, Sunday schools, youth group meetings, summer camps, etc., lose about 70% of their children by age 25 to either theological liberalism, or outright apostasy. But in homes where the children are catechized and are given consistent family worship, the loss figures are about 5%! Now which do YOU think is a more effective means of ensuring our children stay within the faith?
Family worship takes time, and effort and daily discipline. Over the years, as I have worked in various church and para-church ministries, I have been conducting private surveys on a number of issues. My studies revealed a direct correlation between the more churches emphasize their Christian education program and the LESS actual time families spend together in family worship. The more time, money and effort spent on Sunday school, the less catechized the children. Look, we are all “busy” people today with many demands on our time, energy and attention. It is just too easy to push off one job, especially if no one is emphasizing its importance, on someone else. It is especially difficult if we do not have clear directions as to what this duty entails.
Family worship begins with what the Directory calls “secret worship” or what some call today “quiet times.” The Directory makes it clear that national reformation can only occur when there is personal transformation. Therefore, every person was to be dedicated to personal prayer and meditation on the Word. Having been brought to faith in Christ through a para-church organization known for its emphasis on “quiet times,” I have always appreciated the advantage this gave me over many other Christians who grew up in traditional churches where the very concept seemed a mystery. The most “spiritual” people read a short passage from some “Daily Devotional.”
The Directory defines “secret worship” as the means “whereby, communion with God is enjoyed, and right preparation for all other duties obtained.” In other words, it is time, personal time, quality personal time with God and nobody else. It is a time of praising God for His nature and being, meditating on His Law (Josh 1:8) and being convicted of our sin. It is then a time of spiritual refreshment as we learn to cast all our burdens on Him (1 Ptr 3:5) trusting in Christ and Christ alone for our salvation and forgiveness. It has been said, and it is true that Christianity is not a religion but a relationship (Jn 17:3). That relationship needs time each day to develop and grow. What would we say about a man who SAID he loved his wife, but was always too busy to spend any time with her? Would we not question his sincerity? Secret worship is the time spent alone with God, relating to Him, enjoying His presence, glorifying His name.
Furthermore, Pastors were required to exhort their congregations “to perform this duty morning and evening.” Notice, the terminology here; secret worship is not just a nice thing good Christians do. It is a duty that God Himself requires (cf. Deut 6:4-9). To fail to have regular secret worship was to fail God. Furthermore, it was the responsibility of the head of every family “to have a care, that both themselves, and all within their charge, be daily diligent herein.“ So not only did Dad have to have secret worship himself, but he was also required to make sure everyone else under his authority had it as well.
It is a good idea for fathers to have their “secret” worship on the same passage they will use for family worship later in the day. This way, the father gets a chance to consider the passage of Scripture, get his own heart right before God, and have time to carefully consider how the Scriptures apply to his personal situation. Then when he brings the family together, he can share the word of God powerfully, because it has already had a chance to work in his own life.
The Details of Family Worship
Family worship is much like public worship, apart from the sacraments. When families convened for worship they were first to pray and praise God with special emphasis to the Church and the kingdom, the family in general and “every member thereof.” Next, they were to read the Scriptures. Thirdly, they were to catechize the children and “uneducated” persons so that they “may be the better enabled to profit under the public ordinances, and they made more able to understand the scriptures when they are read.” Catechism is one of the most potent ways of internalizing truths. Years ago, we began with the Children’s Catechism which is a short, simple introduction to the Shorter Catechism of the Westminster Confession. But one of our deacons at the time (now a ruling elder) questioned the efficacy of having to teach the children two different catechisms.
He showed up one Sunday afternoon with his two year old having memorized the first seven answers of the Shorter Catechism! I was so impressed I immediately dropped the Children’s Catechism and began teaching my kids the Shorter as well. We had to work with our youngest ones quite a lot, but made a game of it and soon the oldest were memorizing three or four questions a week, on their own!
Of course they do not understand all that they are learning, and part of my job in family worship is to relate the Catechism answers to our Bible reading as well as real life. Often in family worship, a question, concern or issue will arise directly from the text for that day. I then ask the kids leading questions until they see how the catechism answer related to that concern. Thus, my kids not only learn by rote, but also by organically internalizing the concepts into their daily life. This is what the Directory requires; “There should also be godly conferences for the edification of all the members in the most holy faith: as also, admonition and rebuke, upon just reason, from those who have authority in the family. “
Hence, the Directory does not require the father to preach a sermon every day. Instead, the Scriptures are to be read “and it is commendable, that afterwards [the family] confer, and by way of discussion make some good use of what has been read and heard.” The Directory offers specific examples such as “if any sin is reproved, the whole family is to be made aware and watchful against the same; or if any judgment is threatened, or mentioned to have been inflicted… the whole family should fear lest the same or a worse judgment befall them.” And, finally, if any duty is required, or comfort held forth in a promise, the family should stir up themselves “to employ Christ for strength to enable them to do the commanded duty, and to apply the offered comfort.” In all of this, the “master of the family is to have the chief hand; and any member of the family may propose a question or doubt for resolution.”
Family worship does not supplant public worship on the Lord’s Day, but rather encourages it. “On the Lord’s day, after everyone of the family apart, and the whole family together, have sought the Lord (in whose hands the preparation of men’s hearts are) to fit them for the public worship, and to bless to them the public ordinances, the master of the family ought to take care that all within his charge repair to the public worship, that he and they may join with the rest of the congregation.” Afterwards, the father is to spend the rest of the Lord’s Day catechizing and discussing the sermon, finding practical applications for the family so that “they may confirm and increase their communion with God: that so the profit which they found in the public ordinance may be cherished and promoted, and they more edified unto eternal life.” Hence we come full circle. A family instructed, admonished and encouraged in secret and family worship, is thus ready to appreciate public worship. Squirmy kids in public worship thus may well indicate a father who is not in control at home.
Practical Application
There is of course more in the Directory that is of great value, but the main point here has been to demonstrate just how important Family Worship is to raising godly, dominion oriented children. Fathers ought to begin by setting definite times, every day when Family Worship can be held.
In the morning session, the head of the household ought to convene the family together after they have had their own personal devotions. This does mean getting up a little earlier than most of us are used to. Yet, many homes find that mornings are the most hectic and troubled time of the day. Beginning the day with Family Worship helps to focus our attention on what is good and right and proper.
The family then can begin by singing a hymn together. Not every family is musically gifted, but every family can enjoy singing Psalms, hymns and spiritual songs (cf. Col 3:16). Don’t allow self-consciousness to rob you of praising God. You can do it and your family will be enriched by praise. It is helpful for young children if the church supplies families with the songs to be sung for the next Lord’s Day service. This helps very young children learn the hymns so they can participate more in the service.
After the hymn, the Father should open with brief prayer. Though not required, families can use the Lord’s Prayer together and then recite one of the great ecumenical creeds of the faith (i.e., either the Apostle’s or Nicene Creeds are very good). Again, this is usually for the benefit of very young children. It provides the opportunity to learn important statements of faith as well as giving them things to do (the more the children are included, the less tendency to be squirmy!).
Then a passage from Scripture should be read. If the family has very young children, it is helpful to focus on narrative passages that tell a story. One can work through the Old Testament and the gospels giving children a broad overview of Scripture. When the children are older, didactic passages from the epistles are more appropriate. The family can discuss the points made in the passage, with Dad making some practical applications from it.
At one time, we used to re-read the same historical narrative as told by a Bible storybook. However, we found that these books come in uneven quality and needed to be handled carefully. Some of the interpretations of Bible events were just plain wrong! Eventually, our dads found that they could re-tell the same story, in their own words with better effect, and fewer heresies, than most popular Bible storybooks. If one’s children are old enough, we allow them to read the Scriptures one verse at a time. In other words, we try to get as many of the children involved in as much of the program as possible. This greatly helps attention spans.
Dad should focus on making some practical applications for the family. Many have found that having just 15 minutes of private devotions on the same passage first, gives them the time and opportunity to think through the passage so they can teach it to the rest of the family. Preparation helps performance! (For more information about how to draw good, practical applications from a passage of Scripture, see my book. “Get More from Your Bible,” Scripture Union Publishing, 130 City Road, London, EC1V 2NJ, 1988).
The children can then be asked to pray for the specific needs of the family, church, friends, etc. using the prayer list from our weekly church bulletin. Sometimes, especially with children under four, the prayers are quite simple and Dad may need to help them word them accordingly. But the children are often quick to pick up on the method. Dad can then closes in prayer.
That’s it! Twenty minutes, tops. Remember, you are not trying to study the entire Bible in one session! All you have to do is focus the family’s attention on the Lord God, and give them one small thing that they can take with them throughout the day. And the result is children who enjoy hearing and studying the Scriptures, singing Psalms and doctrinally sound hymns and praying for people they know.
In the evening, our Family Worship consists of working on the Shorter Catechism of the Westminster Confession. Here brevity is the key. Fifteen minutes of sharing questions and answers on a daily basis will do more to help your kids learn and remember the catechism than four hours once a week. Furthermore, it just brings everyone together, on a common cause, with the idiot box turned off. During this time, you can also share about God’s providence during the day.
Sometimes, in our hectic schedules, families just cannot manage to put it together in the morning. Some people swap the order around, where they do a couple of catechism questions in the morning with a short prayer, and then have the singing, praying, reading, etc., at night. This means that a lot of traditional church activities that go on during the week must be cut out. And really, is this so bad? What is of more value to the Kingdom, a family worshipping together, every night, where the children are learning the Scriptures from their father - or endless committee meetings, and activities that the average evangelical church requires of its members?
Our kids love Family Worship and are most upset if we miss it. It is not a burden because we try to make it fun learning about God and His commands. They value the uninterrupted time with Mom and Dad and try to outdo each other learning new questions from the Catechism. In fact, my oldest, when he was just seven, often got the Catechism book down to lead his younger siblings in impromptu family worship sessions of their own!
For those who have not had regular Family Worship, their children might initially resist this innovation. They will fidget, whine, complain, etc. However, just like any other aspect of child rearing, parents have to set the standard and enforce it. If we are consistent, they will be. The kids will test whether you are really serious about doing this. A few bottoms may sting until they finally get the message. But, again, don’t be afraid to have fun! It is a duty, but also a great joy to worship the Lord.
The Head of the house is responsible to God for caring and nurturing their families. Our family is the most important ministry God has given us. If you cannot handle this one, Scripture says you are not qualified for any other (cf. 1 Tim 3:3ff). “These exercises ought to be performed in great sincerity, without delay, laying aside all exercises of worldly business or hindrances, not withstanding the mockings of atheists and profane men; in respect of the great mercies of God to this land, and of his severe corrections with which He has lately disciplined us. And, to this effect, persons of eminency (and all elders of the Church) not only ought to stir up themselves and families to diligence…, but also to exhort all other families, where they have power and charge, to conscientiously perform these same exercises. “
Review
In the morning… 20 minutes
- Begin with “secret worship” (on the same passage as for family worship)
- Begin with singing a hymn, psalm or spiritual song
- Open with the Lord’s Prayer
- Read a brief passage of Scripture (highly recommend narrative portions; i.e., “Bible stories”)
- Make ONE practical application from the text.
- Pray for the family, church, friends, etc.
In the Evening; 10-15 minutes
- Review catechism questions after supper
- Sing together
- Brief prayer together thanking God for the blessings of that day.